.....Annnnnnnnd, I'm BACK!
Happy Friday, Night Owls!
I don't pretend to think that there are people out there who read what I have to say and/or type. It is all in my imagination that there is someone for whom I am speaking with so I don't feel quite as alone.
Truth be told, I can't believe that I waited so long to post something, anything, in my blog. I kept putting it off because my blog was an outlet that I shoved to the back of my mind closet when life became too real. Since February 12th, life started getting increasingly more real and overwhelming. It may sound weird to anyone else, other than me, but the longer I waited to post on my blog, the longer I felt this continuing guilt and pressure. I feel like I did a HUGE disservice to those brave men and woman of color by not completing my month-long tribute to those men and women who fought so bravely just to survive and live a life that they so deserved to live.
You know what? It's been decided! February isn't the only month where POC (People of Color) should be honored and given the incredible respect that is deserved to them. BLACK LIVES MATTER, NOT JUST IN FEBRUARY, EVERY SINGLE DAY! Okay, so this is what my plan is, and I am saying the word "plan" loosely because who the heck knows what will happen between today and the 13th of May. Since I stopped my tribute on February 12th, with the great MADAM C.J. WALKER (1867 - 1919), I will continue the tribute to Black History Month (February) on May 13th with a new hero to honor and show off appreciation!
You want to know what else? No offense to the incredible creators of WiX, but I do not like this blog platform. I miss Blogger.com because it gave me so many more options for font styles than this platform does. Maybe I am missing something? I am still very new to this WiX platform, so perhaps it's just human error that I am not understanding how to make the changes. I am a girl who values style and variety! I want to see it show on my website, as well as my blog!
Just to summarize what has been happening between February 12th and present day, A HELL OF A LOT! For one, I am now a year older than I was the last time I updated my blog. Yep, I am now a whopping 37 years old. Which, to me, is not a huge deal at all. Am I supposed to feel old by now? What ever old is supposed to feel like, I don't really feel it. I feel the same way I have been since my early twenties. In a way, I kind of feel like I stopped aging after around 24 years old. I don't really feel all that different to when I was in my early twenties.
Anyway, today, I am preparing myself to go back to work tonight. Yeah, I have been on PTO (Paid Time Off/Staycation) since April 29th. I took some time off to celebrate Evan's (spouse/partner) birthday, on April 30th, and to attend the 2021 Peerpocalypse Conference. The last day of the conference was yesterday, which makes me sad. For anyone, for whom is currently unfamiliar with Peerpocalypse, check out the website: https://www.mhaoforegon.org/peerpocalypse-main-page
Also, speaking of Evan, life has become increasingly tense with him right now. I don't know what the future holds when it comes to staying married, but that is one of the many complications of even being an open marriage with another person. I mean, when life becomes too miserable when you're in an open marriage, does it even make sense to get a divorce? I have no clue. In my situation, it has nothing to do with extra-marital relations but everything to do with his need to blame me for his stressors. NOT ACCEPTABLE. I was so furious with him, just a couple of days ago, that I almost got into my car with the intention of not coming back. Though, I do feel trapped and have no other choice but to stay. I really do. I can't leave because I have three cats that I am not going to leave behind. Two of them have special needs and requires a great deal of attention and medical care. I can't leave them, and I refuse to abandon them. For now, I am still in the same place that I have been for quite some time. I am living in an uncomfortable situation, with the feeling of helplessness and depression. Evan and I have a long, sorted history. It is hard to just walk away, since we have been together since 2007. I can't imagine not remaining best friends with Evan, and I suppose it's that friendship that has us staying together...for now.
In other news, I hope that anyone who may be reading this is enjoying this Mental Health Awareness month. Take care of yourself, and please do what you need to for your own mental health...
Message from:
Comments