Community Day

Photo of/by: Destiny Topolski 💋

Dearest Night Owls,

I don't know about you, but I am desperate for some positive changes in my personal life. Currently, I don't have a great deal of happy thoughts happening. I have been struggling with so much this weekend, and I am so mentally and emotionally drained right now. I feel like the negativity has become never-ending. I wish the negativity would end, yes, I would like this to happen right now.

The important thing to remember is that life isn't all negativity and disillusion. Except, I feel, that there have been more negative issues than positive affirmations when discussing recent days. This weekend sure as hell has been more negative than positive. This evening, I was so drained by the negativity that I crawled into bed and just went to sleep. I just didn't care anymore. I am feeling so numb right now that I just don't care about anything anymore. Well, that is not entirely accurate because I care about the welfare of my cats. No matter how bad my situation becomes, I will never stop caring about my cats. For me, my cats are the only reason why I am still here. I continue to survive and fight the negativity, that has become my life, for them. If I start to lose sight of this fact, then there truly is no hope left for me. I am not being melodramatic here, just honest.

Today, I woke up really early from a horrible dream. Yeah, I can't escape it in both reality and in my sleep state. The day wasn't entirely negative. For those of you who play Pokémon GO, today was Community Day. I recall, back in the day, when Evan and I would make plans to go out into the community just to play Pokémon GO on Community Day. Evan stopped playing, and I have no idea why I am still playing because Community Day isn't that interesting unless multiple people are playing in a group. Evan does this too often, where he'll get excited about playing a game with me but then he will just stop playing. In the end, I end up playing these games by myself.