Miss Minutes
Dearest Night Owls,
It's finally Saturday! Today, after work, I thought that I would have no trouble going to sleep. Yeah, I was so wrong. Work wasn't too exhausting. I did have a great deal of work to do, but it isn't anything that I couldn't handle. The only problem that I seem to be facing is not having enough time to do it all. I need more hours in the day, to be able to accomplish what I would like to. Ah, time, thou art a heartless bitch.
My relief showed up super early, but I still managed to leave work later than 07:00 AM. After arriving home, I completed my usual morning routine before getting ready for bed. For some reason, I had a hell of a time trying to fall asleep. When I was able to finally fall asleep, I fell into a light sleep. It was after 10:00 AM, when I last recalled eventually falling asleep. I found myself waking up right at noon, to the sounds of Evan cooking something in the kitchen. When I was able to fall back asleep, I ended up staying asleep until after 05:00 PM. On weekends, I am not so annoyed at the lack of sleep during the day. That is, unless I signed up to work an extra shift during my weekend. Thankfully, today, I am not working any extra shifts. As soon as I am done doing a daily update, I will spend the rest of the night lying in bed.
Tonight, I finally watched the first episode of the Loki series that was recently released on Disney Plus streaming service. I am not going to spoil anything, I mean, I will try not to spoil anything for those of you who have yet to watch the first episode. While watching the episode, I couldn't help but contemplate time. Loki, for those of have watched the Marvel Entertainment Thor and/or The Avengers, know that Loki has the ability to transport himself and has been able to utilize the Tesseract (blue cube/infinity stone) to transport himself to a different place in time. Do you ever wish that you could change the timeline of your life? Is there anything that you wish you could go back in time and change, if you could? I sure do. Though, going back in time to try and change the timeline could result in catastrophic changes once you attempt to go back to the present day in time. Of course, it is all speculation because the act of traveling through time and space isn't achievable. Sometimes, I really wish that I had the ability to manipulate time and travel back to different times. If I could, I would travel back to 2018, and fix so many mistakes. Trust me when I say that if I could, I would go all the way back to the beginning of my life to fix so many mishaps and personal failures. I do wish that my life had turned out differently. If it did fix all of my missteps, though, how could I have been able to grow into the person that I am today? How could I strive and demand a better life if I didn't first put myself into these places that have tested me to the point where I believed that the only way out was to die by suicide? Yeah, I have made attempts to die by suicide, but there was always that second of clarity that made me take pause and regain my own power. I believe, it was during these darkest times that I have been able to become so much stronger than I ever thought that I could be. I feel that I am worth something, even if those around me don't see it.
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